Meet Me On The Battlefield
by petals-to-fish
Summary: Anonymous Requested: "It's the middle of the war and James comes home all bloody and dirty from a fight. He kisses Lily in a rush of emotions and starts crying because the war doesn't seem to end." - Happy Jily October!


**So this was for someone who requested for me to write a broken and war torn James. Since it's also jily october, I decided to tie in the fact that December is around the time I'd imagine Lily decided to tell her husband she was pregnant.**

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 _Meet Me On The Battlefield_

James Potter was exhausted.

His shoes tracked black footprints in the freshly fallen snow. His robes were splattered with dirt, blood, and burns. In the reflection from the window he could see his hair was standing on end and he fixed his glasses on his nose so that they would sit straight. His feet were dragging and his stomach was spinning.

It was hard to believe it was Christmas Eve. The only reminder of the holiday were the fairy lights that his wife Lily had left on. The different colored bulbs were reflecting off the snow like sunlight through a stained glass window. Snow was still falling, creating a silent atmosphere outside but he could hear music coming from inside the cottage. Lily was playing Christmas music and _Silent Night_ was echoing eerily through James' ears.

The front door opened as he reached for the handle and Lily stood there, the synthetic light from the hallway creating a golden halo around her red hair. She was wearing his quidditch jersey but an apron covered in flour from her adventures in baking covered the overlarge jersey. James was certain if he entered the kitchen he'd find all sorts of Christmas pies being baked for their dinner the next day. Lily's cheeks were glowing and she'd never looked more beautiful (and alive) to James than she did in that moment.

Even on the bleakest night, she could light up his world like the brightest star atop a Christmas tree.

Of course, once her eyes were able to take in his filthy clothes and messy hair the smile on her round face disappeared as quick as it had come. Without a word Lily rushed forward, slinging one of his arms around her shoulders. Her fingers grasped onto his hand, leading him into the warmth of their home. She was supporting his weight, his ankle giving out more with each step he took. The warmth of the house made his frozen fingers tingle as she lugged him to the sitting room. Lily's long red hair fell over one shoulder as she helped him sit on the sofa.

"Thanks Lil." James sighed in relief as he got off his newly twisted ankle, "Some git grabbed me as I disapperating and I had to shake him off."

Lily didn't answer, her fingers were tracing the line of blood from his forehead to his chest. Her green eyes were analyzing all the damage on his body, determining where to heal him first. James saw she had circles under pretty eyes and her lower lip was unsteady. The oven alarm rang for her attention but she ignored it, focusing instead on his wounds. He wondered what he had ever done to deserve marrying someone who was so gentle and selfless. He questioned what he'd do if he ever came home one day and she wasn't there waiting for him.

Without so much of a warning, he scooped his hand under Lily's chin and brought her lips to his own. Startled by his sudden and unexpected advances, Lily jumped a bit and pulled away. James wasn't about to let her start talking though so he used his other hand, sliding his fingers through her hair and pulling her tighter against his kiss. Lily managed a huff against his lips, showing her disgruntled judgment of his ill-timed affection. If he'd give her the ability to use her words, he had no doubt she'd complain that she needed to clean him up.

To James right now, time seemed precious and life seemed short. He was content to continue to kiss her as she fell on her knees in front of him. He could care less about the blood or the sprain on his ankle. All the emotions running through him were leading him to keep his wife mindlessly close. The less talking they did, the less James would have to remember the sound of spells ricocheting off building walls and cars, injuring shrieking muggles who had no idea what was happening.

James would much rather remember what he was fighting for, rather than what he was fighting.

He was fighting for the red haired woman, whose light-as-a-feather fingers relaxed against his face as she melted into his kiss. He was fighting for their small yet kindly cottage where he could safely wrap her up into his arms. He was fighting for a world where they could walk out their door without worrying about radicals awaiting their every move.

"I love you." He murmured against her lips.

"I love you most," she hummed favorably as he placed his lips all over her face, daintily kissing her nose, brow, cheeks, and jawline.

With the fire crackling in the background and _Merry Christmas, Darling_ was ringing through his ears as Lily kissed him back keenly, James wished this was a dream he never had to wake up from. He wished they were a normal young couple, muggles, whose biggest worries were paying their bills and getting nice jobs. He wished they were normal so he could imagine a whole lifetime with Lily, instead of imagining what horrors could rip her out of his arms at any given second. He didn't want to know what it'd be like to live without her. He knew Lily felt the same way, she'd told him so during many of their missions together. During those missions she stayed close, aiming to protect him as much as he intended to protect her.

When they were apart it was no different, they both prayed that the other would come home with a kiss instead of with a casket. It was emotionally draining for James to stress when Lily left him for even an hour and James could only imagine Lily felt as helpless as he did when he couldn't protect her. James and Lily were each other's sword and shield, both fighting to keep the other alive.

As much as they both lived to fight for what they believed in, James was tried of consistently finding himself in the center of the war.

It was the truth he didn't want to admit to Lily as he kissed her avidly under the lights of the Christmas tree.

He was tired of every part of his life being a battlefield.

He was tired of fighting with no end in sight.

He wanted to shroud their entire cottage in an invisibility cloak so that no one could ever bother them again.

It didn't matter what James wanted though because the war wasn't even close to being done.

Everyday the dark wizard called Lord Voldemort got stronger and stronger. His followers roamed the countryside's looking for muggles to round up for torturing. Giants were being spotted in rural areas, picking off children who wandered too far from home. Dementors plagued the dark corners of the darkest streets, sucking the souls out of victims who could not see them. James knew that the more that he tried to fight the war, the more likely he was of not making it through.

His shoulders shook and a few tears slipped from his closed eyes. Those made Lily break herself away from his embrace urgently. He felt as if his chest was collapsing under her hard stare. He struggled to keep his jaw firm and unmoving but she could see right through him. She'd always been able to see right through him, it was one of the reasons he love her so.

Her fingers traced his face, catching more tears as they slipped past his glasses. He was trying to push the pain away, the thoughts that he might not make it, but nothing worked until she took his hand. James stared at their hands, wound together so tightly, just like they'd been on their wedding day. As always, when he couldn't say anything, she put on a brave face and fought for the both of them.

"James you need to take a break." She said delicately.

"How can I take a break when the fighting never stops?" James asked bitterly, staring into her eyes for answers.

"No one expects you to jump into action every time something goes wrong." Lily told James kindly, "If you keep going this route, you'll make yourself an easier target for those arses."

"How so?" James debated, his pride shot, "I can outduel most of them with my eyes closed."

"Because you're exhausted!" Lily snorted, "You just walked through this door looking more dead than alive, James! If you dueled a skilled wizard they'd be able to shoot you down easily."

"I'm not tired." He lied and Lily shot him a pointed look.

"You look worse than Moony after a full moon." Lily said, comparing James to their werewolf friend.

James winced, "Ouch."

"It's the truth. You're dead on your feet."

"I dunno." James grumbled, eyes shooting down dejectedly, "Since I can't even _stand_ right now."

"That's it." Lily's hands clasped his cheeks firmly so he couldn't look away from her, "I'm writing Dumbledore tonight, James. We can go somewhere outside of the battlefield for a while, get away from here."

"I go out to the grocery store and end up in another conflict. The monsters don't hide in the shadows anymore." James argued, "There's nowhere to run from all this madness Lily."

" _This_ is madness." Lily gestured to all of him; "I can't help but think you're stretching yourself thin, James."

He covered Lily's hands with his own, begging, "Tonight was just hard, I'm just tired, don't write Dumbledore."

"You aren't okay." Lily said firmly, "Hell, _I'm_ not okay seeing you like this."

"I don't want to stop fighting," he said, "I just want the fighting to stop."

"Well I want to stop fighting." Her lips were pursed, eyes glowing from the firelight.

James' eyebrows furrowed, "You're bluffing."

If anything, his wife was just as big a fighter as him. When they were both together they were an unstoppable team. She was brilliant with a wand and could disarm five wizards at once if she got lucky enough. He marveled when they fought side by side, sometimes he felt like a fool standing beside her, bold as an a goddess. Even now, he saw the fight in her green eyes, glowing brightly and not squandered, as her proclamation seemed to suggest.

"I'm not bluffing."

Lily bit her lip and then stood up, towering over James, who continued sitting on the couch because of his ankle. Lily paced back and forth slowly, squeezing her hands over her (his) quidditch jersey. James pushed his glasses up his nose before scratching some of the blood caked onto his temple. Lily sighed, as if coming to a conclusion about whatever was happening in her head. She knelt beside James again, her face slightly pale.

"What?" he asked, leaning forward to run his fingers lovingly through the strands of hair that fell forwards as she looked at him so endearingly.

"I'm pregnant."

In that moment, James knew he'd never stop fighting until there was nothing left for him to fight. No matter how exhausted, bloody, or war-torn James ended up—he would fight for his child, even if James ended up as one of the last soldiers to fall.

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 **Leave me a review, if you please?**

 **xxx**

 **Petals**

 _Enchanted_ will be updated on Monday. Levins18 is halfway through beta-ing another (less painful) oneshot called Skipping Quidditch.


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